Top 10 Ugliest Players in the MLB
@SouthSideSN
10. Max Scherzer
The only thing more deadly than Scherzer’s 1-2 punch of his fastball-slider is the Cy Young winners different colored eyes. Though he was absolutely blessed as a pitcher, the poor guy can make anyone feel uncomfortable just by looking at them.
9. Jeff Samardzija
ARG! Captain Samardzija has taken the mound! Maybe the righty should’ve pursued his NFL career rather than his baseball career for two reasons: he was a hell of a lot better at catching touchdowns than he is at getting hitters out and people wouldn’t be able to see his face as well behind a facemask.
8. Troy Tulowitzki
As Tulo gets older he starts to look more and more like the uncle that’s strung out on crack at every family event. His beard is that of a high school senior. Then again, who doesn’t like a nice patchy neck beard? His face sags and if you saw him walking towards you in an alley you’d think he was about to rob you for drug money.
7. Hyun Soo Kim
Nothing really leaps out at you when looking at Kim. However his well rounded ugliness gets him a top 10 finish in the rankings. Maybe it’s how far apart his eyes are. Maybe it's how large his nose is. Maybe it’s the fact that he lets his hair hang wildly out of the front of his hat. Whatever it is, the guy sure is ugly.
6. Freddie Freeman
Other than looking like a mole, Freeman looks like that nerdy kid in high school that always hit on the girls that are way out of his league. He loved chemistry and physics and thoroughly enjoyed making science puns. We all know someone like Freeman. Thank the lord he is one of the most gifted players in the game.
5. Hunter Pence
Pence’s batting stance is almost as ugly as he is. From the disgusting facial hair to the curly afro like hairdo, Pence is easily top 5 ugliest in the league. At first glance, Pence looks like the type of guy that lives in his mom’s basement and researches conspiracy videos 24/7. I’m sure most people would never guess he’s a 3 time MLB All Star.
4. John Lackey
The picture certainly does Lackey justice. Wild, greasy hair, more chins than all star appearances, forehead acne like a 15 year old and a long overdue trip to the dentist has Big John finishing 4th in the rankings. I love the guy, he’s a workhorse and he’s not afraid to throw at a batter. Then again, I’d probably have a lot of built up anger too if I looked like Shrek. At least he has three rings. Right? Maybe? No he’s still ugly.
3. Clay Buchholz
Another pitcher done justice by his picture but don’t worry Clay, we did not forget about you. Clay is all around an ugly guy. As if his hair was not bad enough, he used to take showers in the dugout and put vaseline in it to make it look all the worse. He, like Troy Tulowitzki, has patchy, high schooler looking facial hair. And let’s be honest, he looks much worse in a Phillies’ uniform than he did in a Sox one (sigh). Still, he did throw a no hitter in his second career start so who really cares?
2. Bartolo Colon
This one is too easy. Colon closely resembles Jabba the Hutt. It’s ok though everyone loves the guy.
1. Julio Urias
It’s hard to put Urias at 1 because he’s only 20 and by the looks of it he hasn’t gone through puberty yet. Maybe he’ll change over the next 12 months. Just kidding, he is destined for ugliness almost like he is destined for stardom. He is going to be an absolute stud sooner rather than later but that doesn’t change the fact that one of his eyes barely opens. Urias looks a lot like a lizard. I guess that just makes how good he is that much more impressive.